Sabrina comes down with a case of "finger flu" which causes her magic to malfunction and accidentally transfer itself to Mrs. Quick who, angered by Mr. Kraft's scheme to replace the cafeteria lady with indentured students, turns him into a chimpanzee. Meanwhile, Sabrina tries to help Valerie gain self-confidence while Salem fakes illness to get attention and gets more than he bargained for. Hilda and Zelda discover that he is faking his illness and decide to punish him by making him believe that he is really sick.
- Melissa Joan Hart as Sabrina Spellman
- Nick Bakay as Salem Saberhagen
- Caroline Rhea as Hilda Spellman
- Beth Broderick as Zelda Spellman
- Nate Richert as Harvey Kinkle
- Jenna Leigh Green as Libby Chessler
- Lindsay Sloane as Valerie Birkhead
- Martin Mull as Willard Kraft
- Mary Gross as Mrs. Quick
- Carl Michael Linder as Dr. Brinkman
Hilda and Zelda have just learned Salem is faking illness, and decide to teach him a lesson.
Hilda: "Well Salem, you're temperature is alarmingly high".
Salem: "I'm really sick?"
Hilda: "Yes and that can only mean one thing".
Salem: "More attention and sympathy?"
Hilda: "A nice cold bath".
She conjures up a kitty bath full of water and ice cubes.
Salem: "What?! I'm feeling better! I am NOT an animal!"
Sabrina: "President Clinton went on TV and said you're a big fat stupid-head".
Mr Kraft: "And thats why I'm a Republican".
Sabrina: "Here comes the floor show".
Libby, who has been forced to assume lunch-lady duties, enters the cafeteria as other students laugh at her.
Libby: "It's time to wake up from my nightmare. (She pinches herself) Ow. Time to wake up from my nightmare. (She pinches herself again) Ow".
After Salem finally admitts he was pretending to be sick.
Zelda: "Salem, I hope you learned your lesson. It's wrong for a cat to cry Wolf".
Salem: "I'll never do it again".
She and Zelda turn to leave.
Salem: "But I still have that knot, y'know".
Uses of Magic
- Hilda and Zelda conjure mittens. Hilda then conjures mittens onto Sabrina, and when she refuses to wear them, Zelda dresses her in full winter wear.
- Sabrina conjures a copy of the book, 'How to be Confident' for Valerie. She later conjures another copy for Mrs. Quick.
- Sabrina makes the lunch trays slide off the table.
- Sabrina opens a row of lockers when she sneezes.
- Sabrina passes her magic to Mrs. Quick.
- Mrs. Quick shoes Libby out of line.
- Mrs. Quick straightens Frank's spine.
- Mrs. Quick makes the school pay phone rain dimes.
- Mrs. Quick glues Doug's feet to the floor.
- Sabrina burns Mr. Kraft's foot.
- Mrs. Quick turns Mr. Kraft into a chimp.
To Conjure Rose Colored Glasses
(Cast by Sabrina Spellman )
To hide the heart from conflicting clashes,
What we need are rose colored glasses.
- The Quizmaster does not appear in this episode.
- The magazine Hilda gave Mr. Kraft is different than the one he was chewing.
- When Mrs. Quick coughs to make Mr. Kraft back to normal you can hear the cough but she doesn't move her mouth.